Spockophobia hits the nation

• Bought on by long-term reasonitis 

The US Center for Disease Control issued a warning about a sudden and massive outbreak of Spockophobia as a result of insidious reasonitis perverting the country’s thinking public.

Dr. Logia Call, head of psychiatry at the Center’s Center for Logical Studies, said the unreasonable fear of logic, so common among non-thinkers, has spread into the thinking population and threatens to mass strong minds into the same emotional muddle. The condition has now reached the final frontier, Dr. Call warns. 

Spockophobia, named after the timeless Dr. Spock character in the original Star Trek series, describes an irrational fear of reasonable thought and understanding. In the typical logical process, Dr. Call explains, people connect with reality, think about the facts of reality, look for evidence to support those facts, and make conclusions based on facts that actually exist in reality and support their thought process.

“When A=A becomes just too much to bear, the weak-minded reject the facts of reality and withdraw to a place where A=B,” Dr. Call explains. “When a non-thinker retreats into a fantasy world, little is lost. However, when thinkers start to draw conclusions from a place where A=B, Houston, we have a problem.”

Reason is the power of the mind to think, understand and form judgments using logic. For many years now, confirmed Dr. Call, more and more people are ducking their responsibility to think for themselves and yielding to those who are more than happy to do it for them, ultimately to their great cost and to that of everyone else.

“Reasonitis started it all,” confirmed Dr. Call. “The fear of thinking crops up from some of our most basic insecurities and in particular, a fear of making decisions. We want to withdraw into a childlike state and have an adult make decisions for us. But it’s one thing for the weak-minded to live in a fantasy world. It’s quite another for everyone to do it. If this lifts off, we will live short and dwindle.”

Research from the Center shows that government programs designed to keep adults in a childlike state are at least mostly to blame. Eternal childhood leads to a takeover by manipulative do-gooders and frauds that reap the benefits of power.

According to Dougald Goodenough, Racket Coordinator at the Office of the Comptroller of the Citizenry, almost half the population receives a check from the government. That could be anything, including Medicaid and Medicare, Social Security, food stamps, government schools, National school lunch programs, National school breakfast programs, housing vouchers, Woman, Infants and Children, Foster Care, Child Care Mandatory & Matching funds—the list goes on and on.

“Those who accuse government of corrupting the public are chicken littles,” said Manfried Pillraton, Senior Dependency Officer in the Department of Advanced Paradox and People Management. “We are helping those who choose to live in a fantasy world. Without us they’d have to think for themselves, make decisions and possibly fail. We ensure their self-esteem is never challenged. This is not a con game.”

But when the rational population lifts off, Spockophobia perverts the normal thought process and people come to believe the government is the solution to all problems. Need your snowmobile trail groomed? Calling the government becomes the logical response. Over time, government’s power becomes godlike.

“Fear of thinking can be overcome but it won’t be easy,” said Dr. Call. “It means taking responsibility for our decisions, overcoming the fear of making mistakes and finding purpose in our lives, something government discourages people from doing.”

Is a cure possible? Dr. Call said the condition could cure itself if there is no one to complain to or if people are just left to be self-reliant. In a world where everyone is a child, no one is a child. However, should a strong individual or group decide to become the father-like figure, we will go where we have oft gone before, with perilous results.